Sunday, 12 April 2015

The Tale Of A Nigerian Woman

A wise man once said women under 26 unmarried or without kids is an endangered species. Funny but its actually true. In Africa, from childbirth, women are drilled about the need to find a partner, which is why it's no surprise that most undergraduates will start seeking a life partner at their penultimate years in the university and in final year, it's a 'do or die' affair, as almost all the girls in their final year will be using words like 'introduction', 'aso ebi' and so on. It gets worse as when asked 'what will you do after school?' Most answers are 'I'll get married na'. It's actually not as easy as it sounds, 'cause in their quest for feeling among and meeting up to societal demands, most young girls make rash decision and rush in and out of marriage. Most people mistake wedding for marriage,they don't think of the long term effects but only on who bakes their 3 tier cake, who takes their pre-wedding/wedding photos, if their wedding picture is on #bellanaija and so on. Finding love is a wonderful thing that should not be rushed into, because it all comes down to accepting someone else, their beliefs, ways, lifestyle and yes FAMILY. There are a lot of things to consider like: 
i. Are you spiritually compatible? Is he Catholic and you're Pentecostal? Are you of the same religion? Are you willing to change for his sake? 
ii. Do you know his long term goals? what he wishes to achieve in the future, where he sees himself in the next 3, 5,10 years? Because a man without a future or plans to have one is not yet a man, in my opinion. 
iii. Can you imagine yourself living with him? I'm not talking about your roommate you hate back in the university or your housemate that if they get on your last nerve you can change hostels or change houses, I'm talking about sharing a home! You have issues with your space or people touching your stuff, moving things, silly things like leaving the toilet seat up, laying things around have been known to break homes apart. So make sure you're willing to compromise for that special somebody. 
iv. Are your personalities compatible? Let's be frank, you both should not have the same temperament, you should be the cold to his hot, and last but not the least; 
v. Is he your friend? You should be able to tell him stuff about you,you shouldn't have to make him ask, just talk to him the way you talk to your bestie Adam or your bff Esther, it shouldn't be such a big deal!

These are just few things to consider,there are a lot more. You should not be doing it just because everybody else is doing it, after all, after the wedding everybody will leave you alone with him. We can't change the mentality of catching our fishes in our final year or during NYSC, 'cause, after all, this is Africa

1 comment:

  1. Times are changing the reasons for marital relationships should be all time happiness for both parties this should be born in mind before saying I do.


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